In Limbo

Traveling with the bags in my car, and the wind at my back between here and there. Not truly belonging anywhere. So since Friday evening I've been staying at my Grandmother's house, because quite frankly I cannot stand to be at the house. I returned only today to utilize the glory of internet which is absent at my grandmother's and make sure the place hasn't burned to the ground. While it hasn't burned to the ground it looks as though a whirlwind of a tornado has been through here, papers and bags, and pillows and toys and dishes everywhere. YIKES. All of this over 2 days on the weekend? WOW. Can't say that I didn't expect it on some level. So staying at Grandmothers has been interesting to say the least. I can tell that time and my grandfather are finally taking their toll on the strongest woman I know. My Grandmother has obviously been really worked to the bone, she's getting anxious and easily irritated. A side of her I have never seen. My staying there to evade what I've been going through doesn't seem to rub her the right way either, the first time ever I have felt like an uninvited guest in my grandmother's house. So here I sit in this limbo of emotions, wanting to respect my grandmother and her already stressful situation, but afraid of my daughters well being with my working nights. Hopefully after this month I will be back to day shifts and won't have to worry about night care for my energetic 4 year old. So my ex is obviously still in town. When I returned the other day from work I noticed my golf shoes sitting in the entryway to the house. I wish I had known he was going to leave my stuff on my doorstep because I would have done the same thing. It's so sad for the kiddo and I, He still hasn't apologized at all nor tried to have any attempt at communicating how to get the rest of my belongings back. I so wish I could just turn back the hands of time. So in limbo I stand without a truly comfortable place to rest my head. My $13.00 a day budget has been fun maintaining as well. Especially when I'm traveling a good 45 miles each way to San Antonio for work and other things. GRRRRR. Life has got to improve, this limbo must only be temporary. Like so many other facets of my life. Until the next episode.