Irony and honesty...

Ho hum, life it is... Honest and ironic. Honest in the way that you always end up finding out the truth and ironic in the fact that you hardly expect half of what comes your way upon learning that truth. It's increadible to me that honesty, though rare, is demonstrated in the most unhonest ways possible. You can be with someone for an eternity and until something grand happens you never truly know how they really feel about you, themselves, or any given situation. Irony is a key aspect to that, the most inconceivable ideas are most often the most ironic because the simple and most rational answer and outcome usually sits right before you in actuality. So for myself irony entails... A) moving away from the skipper and back with my family to be more at peace, then B) having my entire world fall apart making such peace unobtainable. In a previous blog I mentioned those masks we all wore. How we perceive ourselves or at least choose to in front of the world. I have always perceived myself in a way that I was comfortable with; it was an archetype I had accepted. Single mom, friend, employee, daughter, etc. But not once in my perception of my self had I included the choice phrases my ex decided to bestow upon me yesterday. It was evident that his brutal honesty over how he felt about my past, was something he had long been containing. The irony in it is that he had just moved to San Antonio to " be with the woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with" so now he's here in San Antonio and has electively destroyed myself and any beautiful memory I had ever had of us. The world and this life are honest, they've waited a while to show the reality of someone who I thought I knew very well. But in irony and honesty, which seems to encompass every aspect of my life, I feel grateful that I can know who he really was. I was upset I cried I beat myself up and then I recognized no matter what he said to me, I know the honest truth and he has to suffer through the rest of his life knowing he wronged someone who loved him and forgave him for more than she ever should have. I take in a deep breath and as I exhale the blackness and the pain I feel leave me and forgiveness and hope move in. Hope for something better for us... Where honesty plays the biggest part and irony leaves us all pleasantly surprised. Until the next episode...