What's A Girl To Do.

All grown up now, at least that's what they tell me. You have to do this, you have to be this. The limitations of society, the expectations of everyone deem it so. But in matters of the heart I've always felt so scholarly, perhaps I was wrong. I always believed that if you did everything in your power... even when you felt you couldn't...to show how much someone meant to you they would always be there. Misplaced judgement may be the culprit here. When did "I love you" become "I love you...but" isn't love unconditional? When you say you care is it always true? When you beat your head against that wall over and over again isn't someone supposed to stop you? Like a young child reaching out for the beautiful flame, that first time burned is a lesson learned for eternity, you will always remember just how hot that fire burned. Yet again and again we place our hand in the flames just hoping this time it won't scorch us as before. But it does again and the lesson is charred darkly in our hearts. We all have this perfect idea of what a relationship is, how it should make us feel, but that burning we remember all too well arises all too quickly in our memories with it's bold warning. So what is a girl to do, go out on that ledge and jump open armed into that bonfire we call love? My question is why should I? You stood there and stoked the fires, beckoning me closer with the promise of warmth and desire. My chilled body was only too willing to step closer and closer though the warning in my mind screamed it's forseen pain. I silenced the warning and stepped closer, not burning yet, only enjoying the beautiful warm tones that tickled my being. One step closer...do i smell smoke? But you threw gasoline on our fire and it began to rage. I was engulfed and left dead and lifeless. Burnt beyond recognition. How could you, why would you. Instead of pulling me out, putting out the flames that left me to my death, you turned away, the last memories of your back is all my soul can remember. Your back... as you ignored my calls to you, my beckoning, my last plea. So here lies my ashes, and the seed of life has long been dead. It died along with my body, may the rain wash me away to a better place, a safer place. Where the fire no longer burns and the gentle rock of the waves of life lull me to sleep on my lifes journey. The End and the Beginning.